Bouncing Back

Bouncing Back

 

 

Yesterday I didn’t run. Thursdays are almost always a running day for me. I had my bag packed and in the car ready to go, but I didn’t run.

 

If you know me you know that I was stalked by a mentally ill stranger two years ago. As a result I have Complex PTSD. So yesterday when a car pulled out behind me as I was leaving for work my physical reaction of course was worst case scenario.

 

Despite telling myself over and over again on the drive to work that I was ok, my body refused to cooperate. As I was hanging up my coat at work someone behind me said good morning and it startled me so bad I started crying.

 

I rarely take Xanax. In fact I hadn’t taken one since the summer, but yesterday I did.

 

It serves it’s purpose but it wipes me out. Then I feel like I’m hung over. I wound up taking my lunch early so that I could nap. Then I napped after work. And fell asleep on the couch a little after 9:00.

 

I didn’t beat myself up over skipping my run. I knew that physically and mentally it was a no go. This morning I woke up still tired.

 

As the day went on I felt better. There were no lingering effects from the day before. When lunch time came I laced up and got out the door.

 

It was 19 degrees, windy and icy out but I was grateful nonetheless.

 

Days like yesterday don’t make for a splashy social media photo. The three miles I ran today weren’t anything special either. But I was able to overcome the invisible obstacle of PTSD. I did not let it derail me for more than a day. That in of itself is a victory.

Comments 4

  • Thank you for being so honest and sharing your journey. I am so proud of you and your journey. If you ever feel like you just need someone to talk to please reach out! Always here for you!

  • I think you have come so far. Im so proud of you for being able to let go of guilt over a missed run and gave yourself some self care. Based upon the fact you felt better and got out for your next run shows that you did the right thing. social media-worthy or not, that is a great victory!
    Heather recently posted…GRT 50k Training Week 4My Profile

  • Wow, you are so brave for opening up about your story. I am also living with PTSD; I actually started running because I was going through a particularly rough patch with it, and hoping that it would help bring me out of it. There are definitely good days, and bad days– it’s so important to take care of yourself, and give yourself grace when things aren’t going as well. Thanks again for sharing your experience!

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